Scared dating again

Let me help you with two twists at the fear: A relationship is also commitment. The only reason I'm hesitant to get into a relationship is because I'm afraid of getting attached to someone only to have it all come crashing down eventually. My life isn't a motion picture; living with me would probably be horrible. If you ask me, relationship awkwardness isn't worth an actual non-awkward relationship down the road.I had an internet boyfriend at one time, and when we broke up after 2 years I was devastated. I'll never show it, but my emotions are overwhelming sometimes. Unfortunately influences out of my control thrust me back into the trying to "improve" lifestyle. In the past, I've been torn to shreds emotionally by pseudo-relationships with men I was never anywhere close to serious with. I can't fathom voluntarily signing up for that. I still hallucinate and cringe at moments from years back when I was a horny teenage idiot.

That's some pure, high-grade social anxiety right there.That’s until I realized that my sense of self-preservation had become my biggest obstacle to create new meaningful connections. Accepting that sometimes things won’t go your way will allow you to let go of the anxiety and stress that arise from resistance to your life circumstances. Instead of avoiding perceived sources of pain, seek sources of joy.How do we let go of the fear of being hurt again and open our hearts and minds to what life has to offer? When you stop resisting, your mind is clear enough to find solutions to your problems. When I focused on the character traits I wanted the people in my life to have, and adopted behaviors that reflected these qualities, I started to meet amazing beings who became trusted friends.Idk, I just think that I'm so far behind and it would be so much fucking work.Plus if I get dumped I don't know how I would deal with that. I'm convinced that even if someone took a chance on me, once they actually got to know me they'd decide I'm not worth the effort.

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